Friday, April 20, 2012

Deep thoughts.

I've started at least 10 blog posts this week. I have gotten about halfway through them and then end up deleting the whole thing. I don't know what my deal is, I just know that I really haven't had a lot to say lately.

I was looking through an old photo album a few days ago that my mom filled with random pictures from throughout my childhood. I found this one of my sister and I from one Christmas morning and it made me laugh. Partially because things have changed so much and partially because they are still so much the same.

But then I just kept staring at it for a while and was really shocked when I discovered that there were tears in my eyes.

Do you ever see pictures of yourself as a child and feel like maybe, in a few ways, you let the childhood version of yourself down? I look at that sweet, innocent little girl with the biggest hopes and dreams and I wonder if she would be disappointed in me; if I did everything that I could have done to see that those dreams happened. Don't get me wrong, a lot of them have. I just feel like there have been so many times in my life where I have been presented with opportunities but have taken the easier road because of my extreme fear of risks and the unknown. I always have to have full control of every situation and if I can't have full control, then I'm not willing to walk down that road.

I know it's never too late to become exactly who/what you want to be and for that, I'm very grateful. Because I still have a long, long way to go. From this day forth I'm going to try to make an effort to overcome my fears and have more faith in the things that are unknown. I can't spend another 20 years of my life waiting for the wind to magically blow me in the right direction.

Thanks so much for listening to my deep thoughts. I hope you have a very happy weekend. :)

No comments: