There's something about older substitutes at this school. They always seem to want to come in my classroom and start asking all sorts of personal questions before I even get their names. It has happened three different times now. I can understand their curiosity I suppose... it does seem a little strange to be spending so much of our daily math time on computers. Still, I'm not really one to ask awkward questions, ESPECIALLY to strangers.
Today a new sub marched into my classroom and immediately said "You have a hair on the back of your pants" and proceeded to remove it promptly before I could even respond. Uhh... thanks lady. I learned quickly that she was a little strange. She hung around to see what RM was all about but kept mostly to herself until I was getting the class lined up to leave. She walked up to me and said, “So, is this what you thought it would be?” I found myself stumbling around in my mind, trying to figure out how to answer that question. And honestly I am not even sure exactly what she meant by that question. I rambled on about something that I'm not even sure about now, but after she left it really made me start thinking. IS this what I thought it would be? In a word, no, “this” is not what I thought it would be. I mean, nothing ever is… right?
The most difficult thing that I've learned this year is that teaching isn't what it used to be. I feel like I have NO room for creativity whatsoever. I am simply there to make sure that things are run like they are "supposed" to be. Completely by the books. It seems like teachers are constantly walking on eggshells these days, which makes me really sad. I decided to become a teacher because of all of the wonderful memories that I have from elementary school. Sadly, most of my fondest memories of school would never be a possibility in today's public schools. I could go on and on about this subject but, alas, I should probably walk on a few more eggshells since this is a public blog. :) I do wonder sometimes if I want to do this again next year. I think that's a normal thought for first year teachers. Some weeks I'm filled with excitement when I think about my second year, and some weeks I spend all of my free time dreaming about what my next career will be. This is a personality flaw that has always caused annoyance during my job endeavors.