Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Rules of Pencils

When you have 120 students in your classroom every day working math problems, pencils are on high demand. Since I don't have a homeroom class, I did not get to benefit from school supplies brought by the students. I provide all of the pencils used in my classroom. At first that didn't seem like that big of a deal, but ohhhhh, it's a big deal. I just might spend 1/4th of my paycheck for the year on pencils.

I have learned many things about pencils this year:

1) Do not attempt to stock your classroom with fun, colorful pencils. They will cause many unnecessary arguments.
2) Do not - I repeat - DO NOT include one fun colorful pencil in the mix of a tub of plain, yellow pencils.

3) Children should NOT be allowed to get their own pencils out of the tub. Even though this means you will spend 1/15th of your day passing out pencils.

4) Under NO circumstances should children have access to pencil sharpeners.

5) Under NO circumstances should you sharpen a pencil for ANYONE during class. You will soon find yourself in the business of pencil sharpening. Did you get your degree in pencil sharpening? No.

6) Pencils will be chewed on. Warning of gross germs will not do any good. End of story.

7) Erasers have a lifespan of 2 days. Once the eraser is gone, the pencil will be deemed worthless by the child.

8) After 2 months of hearing children ask you for a pencil that includes an eraser, you will realize that you cannot STAND erasers.

9) You will decide to tell the children that they will have to start marking out their mistakes instead of erasing them, because you are depressed by the 75 billion perfectly wonderful pencils sitting in the jar abandoned because they do not have good enough erasers.

10) Despite all of this, you will continue to keep your 10 pretty boxes of cap erasers that you searched frantically all over town for a few weeks ago locked up in their boxes in the drawer.

11) Why in the world would you want to deal with the wrath that colorful erasers are SURE to cause if put on the ends of your pencils? Didn't you learn your lesson with the colorful pencils?

12) You realize that you are completely out of pencils with erasers. 200 pencils. Not one eraser. And you are really tired of children raising their hands just to tell you that their eraser doesn't work.


14) Don't say the above statement. Calmly assure the child that this is not the end of the world.

15) Finally give in on October 26th and open ONE box of beautiful, fresh, cap erasers. This will be a test.
16) Put the erasers on 30 wounded pencils and place them in the tub with the rest of the pencils.

17) Hold your breath the first time that you pass out the pencils with the pretty erasers. Make sure that every child in the class gets one of the pencils with a new eraser because you just don't want to deal with it right now.

18) Control your thoughts as the requests for specific colored erasers start being thrown at you while passing them out. "Pink, pink, pink!!!" "....Awww I got blue ughhhhhhhhhhhh."

19) While picking up pencils at the end of the day, notice that at least 10 of your new erasers have mysteriously gone missing.

20) Have no words. None.


texasholls said...

Cant' these kids bring their own pencils and erasers to school? I thought that's why everyone has to go shop for school supplies at the beginning of the year. Gees!

Sarah Huffman said...

Bahaha!!! Oh my goodness. That was hilarious. I dealt with the same thing last year. You pretty much just read my mind. Now I give them the eraser block and tell them it needs to last them til Christmas. And don't ask for another unless you want to change your color. : ) I don't really say that last part.
But the eraser blocks are much better for this age group then the colorful erasers I've discovered. This is by far my favorite post yet.

bee said...

This is hilarious!!!! I cannot believe that a simple pencil or eraser could cause so much commotion in the classroom. I am with Holly. Why do YOU supply the pencils???? That is a new one on me.